The Village is... WE

The Transition…A new journey

2010-11-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

It was down to the last days before school was to begin for my baby…7th grade. I didn’t quite know how I felt about his return to the school that I’d had so much trouble with last school year. I think (and I used that lightly) that this teacher was a bit different from the others in that she really did care. Problem was, I found myself doing more of her job than she did. Her goal, like so many other teachers was to keep with the pace of a certain level of student.

In an effort to I guess, pace herself, explanations of the lessons, always left me contacting her for clarity. Unanswered phone calls, outdated voicemails, and lack of availability was more than I could handle. After many meetings with her, the academic counselor, and my son’s other teacher, 3 days before school was to begin, I made the decision to place my son in the K12 learning environment. It couldn’t have come at a better time. As dissatisfied as I’ve been with the schools/teachers my son has been with, there was always that fear of what do I do next. Of course the obvious was to continue advocating – but what to do about maintaining a healthy interest in education, for my son.

The answer has been presented to us. I was leery at first but I think that was because it was the whole “trying something new” that had me that way. Very happy with the transition. He loves it. I’ve not seen him thrive and take as ownership of his school work like this, EVER. He is like a little project manager with his schedule. He is building solid relationships with his teachers, he’s becoming more involved in the WHOLE lesson and not just what he needs to get by for that day/that assignment.

I will continue to report on our progress with the program, but for now, I am nothing short of ecstatic and very proud of my son for taking on this challenge. An even greater part of this journey is that I am learning as well since I’ve signed on for the role of Learning Coach. I think it was always meant to be this way.

It’s not easy, but it has to be done...

Red Flags call for action...

2010-03-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

Out of deep frustration, I called my son’s school today. Reason for call: My son’s math scores are falling way below par. He has always excelled at math – up until the end of 4th, and into, 5th grade. There is cause for concern. While he has a high success rate with submitting his homework, his test scores are always near the C- mark. In the world of plus/minus grading system, a C- is closer to a D. He is not a D student.

When I called, the Office Secretary answered. After being told that the “principal’s calendar is full for the remainder of the week”, I asked:

Is there a Board of Directors I could be a part of, and if so, how do I go about obtaining contact information? She responded “there is only one for the whole district, and I am not sure how to contact them”.
I asked if there were any in-house education committees that I could get familiar with, and possibly, join. To that, she answered “no”.
I asked if there was anything in place to monitor the kids who were falling by the wayside – but whose parents aren’t as active as I am – but who nevertheless, need help.

Her response: “No, we don’t have anything in place, we can only rely on what the parents tell us”. She continued on with, “Have you requested the SST for him?”

Wow. I had to take a step back. Breathe. She’d just asked me if my son had been assessed for Special Education. Here it finally came. As office personnel, I wasn’t going to make her accountable, at first. But in the moments that I had to think about it, I had a change of heart. Reason being is that she needed to be educated. She was familiar with us, so she knows who I am, who my son is. She went straight for the Special Ed card. My response to her went exactly like this:

“In reviewing your school accountability report card, prior to calling you, I realize that if you were the slightest bit familiar with it, Special Ed wouldn’t have been so quick to escape your mouth. In fact, you probably don’t even realize that it’s offensive. As she tried to explain that she was not trying to offend, I asked to be put on the principal’s calendar for the first available appointment next week, and that I would take the lead on contacting his teachers, and counselor, to ensure their presence, in that same meeting.

Based on data from the last two school years:

African American students have scored the lowest of all other groups, at the Proficient/Advanced level: 45% for math, 50% in English-Language Arts, 48% in Science, and 38% in History & Science (No surprise there. Perhaps if the History they studied reflected more about their relevance…). My point here is that instead of accepting accountability, and wondering why our kids are testing at lower rates than all other groups of students, they try to stick them in Special Ed environments. The easy way out – the quick way out – of their way.

Not an option.

My appointment is Tuesday @ 3PM and it hurts to think about all the parents that don’t make the effort. No part of this is easy, but it is worth it in the end because our children know that they matter. They will know the struggles endured, all in an effort to make sure they were taken care of – when not in our care.

The Class Roster...Very important tool

2009-11-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

Every year, at the beginning of the school term, my son comes home with an information sheet, requesting contact information, from each household. It doesn’t take long to populate the form, but I never quite got the importance. Nevertheless, I fill it out.

Once all the information is gathered, a spreadsheet is created and distributed to the entire class.

It took a while, but I finally came to realize how handy this spreadsheet was. Aside from familiarizing myself with some of the other parents, and being able to often assist one another in various areas pertaining to our children, it also served as a great resource for my son.

One evening while on the nightly homework trail, my explanations of a particular problem were not to my son’s satisfaction, or understanding. I had an idea…”get your phone roster and call one of your classmates to see if they can help you”.

Reluctantly, he retrieved the list, took it to his room, and made the call. The end result – the problem was solved between the two of them. I was elated. It made me think about how, as they sit in class all day long, there are different points during lecture that they tune out. There are varying aspects of the lesson that they comprehend, and in that way, they could serve as resources for one another. What one doesn’t quite understand, the other or other(s), could add further explanation. Not to mention, they are in dialog with one another and can discuss the “problem” aloud gaining further clarification. It works…on so many levels!

It can make our children feel empowered when they are the one “called upon”, it can instill team building skills, it can get them accustomed to brainstorming. It works for all involved.

Whenever my son does homework now, he still asks me for assistance, but many times, he will go directly to reaching out to one of his peers. It feels good when I can hear him talking through a problem and knowing that he is getting what he needs. I have now designated myself as the parent to collect the vitals needed for the list each year because I believe in its worth.

If your classroom does not practice this, you may want to inquire with your child’s teacher because it can make a world of difference.

Parent | Teacher Relationship(s)

2007-12-08T21:34:00.000-08:00

There are many important alliances for parents to form while our children are in school. However, there is none more necessary – more important, than the Parent/Teacher relationship.

Our children's educators are with them every day. So are we. These educators are instilling morals, values, and education, in our children. So are we.

When you really think about it, in a sense, we are co-parenting with these individuals. It is worth our time to become as familiar with them as possible, so that we can form solid relationships and positive understandings.

It has been my experience that a lot of parents tend to use their child's school as a daycare. That place where they are dropped off in the morning and picked up at the end of the day. Yes, it's true that School is the institution that has them for 6 hours out of a day, but is should not stop there. Where did they leave off? How secure does our child feel with the lessons of that day? The job is never-ending. We can't afford for it to be. So, while they are in the care of the school for the first part of the day, we, as parents, have a responsibility, as their parents, to pick up where the school left off.

Establishing a solid rapport with our child's teacher is vital for their academic success because it's where the institutions of home and school connect, and have the potential to act as a single unit moving toward a common goal of producing healthy-minded young people.

When unions are formed with teachers, communication is effective. When the child knows that there exists a relationship, and that it is sound, it makes them want to do better because they feel the love and care, for their well-being. I begin every school year with a request to meet my son's teachers. I establish early on that my primary concern is that we act as a team to get my son where he needs to be with his education.

In my opinion, it is a good habit to adopt.

A Lesson Learned...and to be Shared

2007-12-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

Though my son is ten, our first negative experience began when he was six years old and beginning kindergarten. I have to admit here, that early on I was not as involved as I should have been. With each call I received, I took the teacher at her word and reprimanded my son for “disrupting class” and for “disrespecting the teacher” – basically whichever one the situation called for.

Regrettably, during this time, there lacked a two-way dialog between my son and I. I had not opened my eyes yet to what was in progress. I was more concerned at the time with the school not looking negatively upon my child. My heart still breaks when I think about it. In most cases, our children are viewed as “bad” and I needed to debunk that myth and to paint the picture that any concerns were under control. I wanted/needed him to make a good impression because I’d moved to the area to ensure his placement in a “good” school. I didn’t want anything to threaten the “honor” of our placement. I often wonder now if there exists the institution of a “good school”.

Over time, my son began to adamantly deny accusations when he felt the entire truth wasn’t being told and I would see it as this little guy just not wanting to be in trouble and trying to avoid punishment. One day in 2002, I came to a realization while in a conversation with my best friend about her son. She had been confiding in me in the weeks earlier about him getting in trouble at his school and that he was spending several days each week in the principal’s office because of disruptive behavior in the classroom. I remember specifically asking her, “Why haven’t you questioned the repeat nature of this? You need to get to the bottom of what’s going on because there should be no reason he is being removed from class that often!” I remember my anger at the time. I also remember what came immediate thereafter; the hypocrisy with which I was speaking. I was in the exact same situation, sans the principal scenario.

That day changed everything. From that day forward, I began to pay closer attention, I became active, I made a presence – and yes, I apologized profusely, and empathetically, to my son for having him on this solo trip for so many months. The woman that emerged from this ordeal was a very different woman than the one in the original slot. I began to document past episodes, and thus began my paper trail and what I came to recognize as a pattern.

The following will detail stories from parents I have encountered over the years and will include detailed accounts of some of my family’s journey. I recognize that there is still much work to do, and getting this message out is a significant part of it. We have to protect, nurture, and ensure a place for them in society.

Let’s get to work!

The Seed of Thought...

2007-12-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

As a single parent raising a black male child, I was skeptical at first about publishing this for fear that people would blame what was happening to us - on the fact that I am a single parent. I didn’t want that scrutiny; so initially I let the idea expire. It took about a year for me to realize that my parental status was the very reason I should push forward with this project.

Unfortunately, there are many women in my place, who because we have the task of raising sons alone, get overwhelmed with the day-to-day survival mode we must at all times adapt to. For these mothers, their sons, and the chance at productive academic careers, I must speak.

This could be referred to as a longitudinal study because of the nature of my research. I have compiled data, over the years, of conversations I have shared with other parents of Black males.

My passion for the topic of Black males and education comes from my son who is 10 years old. I am always praying for his success as a boy; as a man. Yes, there are many obstacles to overcome when raising children – especially alone. Yet, the challenge would not have become had God not felt we could stand up to it. I am more than ready for the challenge and hope that with this reading, others will join in that effort.

For years I have seen injustices at the hands of the public school system and I felt that it would be productive to document these happenings in one place because they are definitely instances worth revealing. Not in a way that it appears to be “preaching”, yet in a way that people can decide on their own time to read the information, taking what they can from it as it applies to their given situation. I thought sharing my family’s story would enable others to see that maybe they have endured some of the same hardships and recognize them for what they are – signals for change.