The Transition…A new journey

It was down to the last days before school was to begin for my baby…7th grade. I didn’t quite know how I felt about his return to the school that I’d had so much trouble with last school year. I think (and I used that lightly) that this teacher was a bit different from the others in that she really did care. Problem was, I found myself doing more of her job than she did. Her goal, like so many other teachers was to keep with the pace of a certain level of student.

Red Flags call for action...

Out of deep frustration, I called my son’s school today.  Reason for call:  My son’s math scores are falling way below par.  He has always excelled at math – up until the end of 4th, and into, 5th grade.  There is cause for concern.  While he has a high success rate with submitting his homework, his test scores are always near the C- mark.  In the world of plus/minus grading system, a C- is closer to a D.  He is not a D student.

When I called, the Office Secretary answered.  After being told that the “principal’s calendar is full for the remainder of the week”, I asked:

The Class Roster...Very important tool

Every year, at the beginning of the school term, my son comes home with an information sheet, requesting contact information, from each household. It doesn’t take long to populate the form, but I never quite got the importance. Nevertheless, I fill it out.

Once all the information is gathered, a spreadsheet is created and distributed to the entire class.

It took a while, but I finally came to realize how handy this spreadsheet was. Aside from familiarizing myself with some of the other parents, and being able to often assist one another in various areas pertaining to our children, it also served as a great resource for my son.

Parent | Teacher Relationship(s)

There are many important alliances for parents to form while our children are in school.  However, there is none more necessary – more important, than the Parent/Teacher relationship.  

Our children's educators are with them every day. So are we. These educators are instilling morals, values, and education, in our children. So are we.  

When you really think about it, in a sense, we are co-parenting with these individuals.  It is worth our time to become as familiar with them as possible, so that we can form solid relationships and positive understandings.

A Lesson Learned...and to be Shared

Though my son is ten, our first negative experience began when he was six years old and beginning kindergarten. I have to admit here, that early on I was not as involved as I should have been. With each call I received, I took the teacher at her word and reprimanded my son for “disrupting class” and for “disrespecting the teacher” – basically whichever one the situation called for. 

Regrettably, during this time, there lacked a two-way dialog between my son and I. I had not opened my eyes yet to what was in progress. I was more concerned at the time with the school not looking negatively upon my child. My heart still breaks when I think about it.  In most cases, our children are viewed as “bad” and I needed to debunk that myth and to paint the picture that any concerns were under control. I wanted/needed him to make a good impression because I’d moved to the area to ensure his placement in a “good” school. I didn’t want anything to threaten the “honor” of our placement. I often wonder now if there exists the institution of a “good school”.

The Seed of Thought...

As a single parent raising a black male child, I was skeptical at first about publishing this for fear that people would blame what was happening to us - on the fact that I am a single parent.  I didn’t want that scrutiny; so initially I let the idea expire.  It took about a year for me to realize that my parental status was the very reason I should push forward with this project.   

Unfortunately, there are many women in my place, who because we have the task of raising sons alone, get overwhelmed with the day-to-day survival mode we must at all times adapt to.  For these mothers, their sons, and the chance at productive academic careers, I must speak.